I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
