just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
