So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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