i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
