I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
