sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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