You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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