Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
