you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
