if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
