rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
