recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
