if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
