If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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