I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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