If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
no you cant smoke seaweed
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
