dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
