it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
