Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
