I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
he fucked my hip out of place.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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