U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
