wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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