So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
