i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
