That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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