My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
