capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Randomize
