Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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