I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
