It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
