Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
