is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
