We won't sleep together?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
