ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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