It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
