In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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