She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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