It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
