Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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