Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
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