your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
