There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize