Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
smell my finger.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
There's always time for handjobs
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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