Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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