Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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