My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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