I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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