I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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