he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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