: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
