I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
