That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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