That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i would one night stand the shit outta him
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
