Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Randomize
