I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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