Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize