bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
