you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
