now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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