you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
