I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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