Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
