So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I can't put those talents on a resume
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
