yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
