it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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