how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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