My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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