do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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