Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
